House of Sin

Sunday, April 23, 2006

I'm such an idiot.

And now, the Stunning Conclusion of last weekend's birthday drunkathon!

--

I left HD's abode, feeling quite a bit horny, and not-at-all guilty (Take that, conscience!). It was my birthday, and I had treated myself to a little play. Like all men, though, I was greedy and selfish. I wanted more.

I picked up a cigar, went home, and mixed a tall, Tall, TALL drink, and pondered my evening. After a little deliberation, and a little prodding by my roomie, GH, I came to two conclusions:
A: It was my birthday, and I needed to go out and get drunk, dammit and B: I wanted to find someone else to fool around with.

Enter TG. She's fun, she's flirty, and we have good chemisty. What we don't have, however, are compatible schedules. Also, she's unreliable, and parties far too much for this Bastard. Because I am trying to hold onto what positive, sensitive fragments of my personality still exist (or I'm a selfish, horny fucker), I have held onto hope that TG and I would be able to find time to hang out together.

Armed with the knowledge that TG would come find me (she knew I was probably going out), and a healthy amount of alcohol coursing through my system, I headed downtown with GH, GH's girl, R, and One-eye.

It didn't take too long for The Bastard to get well and truly sloshed at one of the truly wondrous bars in the downtown area. When TG showed up to say hi, I was pleased, and smiley. The smile disappeared when she left several minutes later. She was "going to finish drinking with her friends", and "would meet up with me [The Bastard] at a later point."

Hmm. TG's promises are not always well-kept. Indeed, fifteen minutes later I looked outside the bar, only to see her walking up the street, with her friends. Away from the bar. Away from, um... MOI.

Okay, I can be patient. She'll show up, 'cause that's what she said she'd do. Never mind that she gets drunk and forgets to call/show up/let me know where she is... eh. Low expectations just got lower.

So The Bastard and His Amazing Friends(tm) headed to a local dancerie that would fit in just perfectly, in the NYC Club Scene(tm). This Bastard, for several reasons, doesn't dance. Unless Said Bastard is drunk. And hoo boy, I was wrecked. So, I danced.

As my body shifted under the annoying strobe lights, I oogled the beauties around me. Oh, there were many women of all shapes and sizes. I was a kid in a candy store.

Well, not really.

Situated around the dance floor were several floor-to-ceiling poles of the stripper variety. Several females found their way around these poles in such an intimate fashion as to almost make me blush. Almost. But there was this one girl...

She had dark-brown hair. A pair of too-serious, but not too-mysterious brown eyes. And a very well-shaped rack. I was intrigued. Her fingers wrapped around the pole with confidence, as she turned my way, and looked right at me. Boom. Contact. So, given my lustful intentions for the evening, I did what every man does when he sees a pretty girl.

I took my cell-phone out of my pocket, and checked the time. I know, I know, I chickened out. But hey, BrownEyes wasn't going anywhere. She was by herself, and looking for someone to dance with. I could easily be that guy.

We made quick contact a few more times, but each time, the cell-phone came out. I admit, I was hoping to hear from TG, that she was going to track me down, but inside, I knew better. TG was gone, again.

Brown Eyes, though, was right there. All I had to do was take a deep breath, walk up to her and buy her a drink/dance with her/use my sense of humor... anything. When the chemistry's there, you take the chance, no matter what. And the way she was looking at me, there were sparks all over the place.

The cross-looks crescendoed, until I was up on the dance floor, and she was down by the bar. Our eyes locked for one second... two... three...four(?)...five(the hell?) and then... I checked my cell-phone one more time.

Yes, because that's important. Sigh.

I'm an idiot.

--

At the beginning of this three-part epic, I talked about my First True Love, and how the after-effect of my parents' mocking has been a complete and utter lack of confidence, when it comes to making that first move with women. Yes, I know I'm not the only one to get insecure around members of the opposite sex, but shit...

I'm old enough to know better.

--

I never talked to her. I don't know her name. I don't know if she gave everyone that look she gave me... fuck. No, she didn't. That look was for me.

I do know that she could be a local college student, a townie, or ever from out-of-town. And I know that I blew it. I ended up leaving, alone, going back to the House of Sin, to recuperate.

But I haven't forgotten BrownEyes, oh no. I went out a week later, hitting all the clubs, looking for her. No luck, but I won't give up. And next time I think I have a chance with a woman, I'm going to forget about the insecurities, and all that. I'm just going to go talk to her.

... I'm such an idiot.

--

That was my birthday weekend. I spent Easter regretting my idiocy, and sobering up. I watched one of my favorite movies, and bonded with GH. We get along pretty well.

BrownEyes, though, is still in the back of mind.

I won't make that mistake again.

-- The Bastard.

Posted by The Bastard :: 9:02 PM :: 0 comments