Friday, May 12, 2006

Men are Lying Liars.

No, really. We lie. A trained psychologist will go on and on about why men lie. I'm sure there's good reasons, but at the end of the day, dishonesty comes easily to the male gender.

It makes me laugh, when I listen to guys talk. I mean, do people really believe the shit that comes out of some guys' mouths? That laughter is followed by a melancholic moment, when I realize I'm just as bad as them. From time to time, This Bastard fibs. But the lies I tell to other people are harmless; white lies, really.

Unfortunately, I do more damage lying to myself, than anyone I know. I've spent the last couple days unraveling my former relationship with TheEx, and I've come to the unsurprising conclusion that I internally sabotaged our attempt at "Happily Ever After".

It's long and complicated and not blog-worthy to go into the details. But it had harped on me that there were things about me that she didn't know. Which is sad, because she knows me better than anyone else.

So, I poured a Tall Tall Drink, and told her everything. She was stunned and caught off-guard. I'm good at doing that to people.

But now, after I've spilled my guts, I see the relationship that ended in January from a completely different angle. Underneath my protestations of affection and love, I pushed her away, just like I always do. She even called me out on it.

A couple nights ago, she threw a curveball in my direction:

"Why do you quit so easily?"

I didn't have an easy answer (although I haven't given up trying to figure it out).

Ultimately, I kept things from her and myself; topics and events that, had I shared with her, might've changed the outcome of our relationship.

I'm a lying liar, too. I lied to myself for all the wrong reasons.

But women are all crazy bitches. So, it all evens out.

-- The Bastard
Posted by The Bastard :: 11:25 PM :: 1 comments

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